How to deal with negative triggers (Part 4): Surrender

Posted: April 30, 2009 in Stolen Boy
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Jack Hollywood is a man who knows a thing or three about surrender. He’s lived a hell of a life that has included many things that needed surrendering to. And he’s finally figured out how to do it. You got to remember Jack’s a guy from the old school of having to learn dearly for life’s mistakes. And he’s made plenty of them to learn from, for sure. But who hasn’t? This is precisely the path I took in life. Pain after fripping pain. Suffering and unconsciousness. Wasted energy and lost love.

Same with Nick Cassavetes, my best friend as a kid, who brought me into the Alpha Dog project in the first place. We used to suffer together as kids, with all of our other friends, as we battled and fought each other, and anyone else who got in our way, for supremacy of each other and our surroundings. And this is the way it’s gone pretty much for everybody I’ve ever known. The school of hard knocks is what we used to call it. And the key to the whole deal is to be able to look back and recognize all the mistakes one’s made – and to learn from them. There’s no other reason to venture into the past. The past is merely our identification point for who we are. It isn’t really us; it’s just our memories, the points from where we were conditioned. What we have identified as being us. But the key to all this is not to wait too long. Not to wait until we do something really stupid that ruins our lives, along with all those who love us.


It was really bizarre when I was in court last week for the Brandon McInerney fiasco. When the judge threw us all out, including the DA, to conduct an in camera hearing with Brandon’s attorneys, Scott Wippert and Robyn Bramson, out in the hallway I ran into, of all people, Jesse James Hollywood’s lawyer, James Blatt. We spoke briefly, and then when we herded back into court, out of the corner of my eye, in the back corner of the courtroom, I spotted Jack Hollywood taking in all the action.

Jack looked good, and he told me he was doing “really well.” He said he was a man who had read all that Eckhart Tolle had to say and he had learned to surrender to his circumstances, rather than to continue to fight against it. He’s now working with life’s flow, and not in denial of it, not fighting all that is, which is a very powerful experience. And it’s made him very comfortable with his present moment, which includes his son facing the death penalty.

I asked Jack if he felt his son had also learned to surrender to his circumstances. Jack didn’t believe Jesse had, yet. Which, of course, is understandable, because Jesse is in a very difficult place. But if I were to talk to Jesse right now, I would encourage him to do so. To put away any anger or resentment that might afflict him. Which is something we all could learn. When we find ourselves in a very difficult spot that we can’t get away from, or we can’t change, we need to surrender to it. We need to accept what is at this very moment. We need to quit fighting the flow of life, and realize that right now, at this very moment, this is all we’ve got. So why not accept it? We may have memories or thoughts of our past, but that’s all it is – our past. It has no bearing on the present other than what we bring into it.

Same with our futures. We have no control over what’s happening later in our lives, because it may never happen. It’s out there, then, in the future, and we’re here, right now.

I would then tell Jesse that his accepting the present circumstances does not mean he has to accept his negative life situation. We all have the opportunity to change our life’s situation for the better, once we learn to accept life as it stands at this very moment. Then, we eliminate the negative thoughts or emotions of how we got here or how we might get away. We realize this is it, and we accept it. We surrender to it. We then put our higher vibrating energies into thoughts or ideas of how to change our life’s situation for the better. It’s that simple. Don’t stress out about the now. It brings a very low vibrating reality into our lives.

Feel the love and joy that emanates from within. Apply this love and joy to everything we do, and see if things don’t begin to transform into our favor. We have no pain and suffering inside, because we’re no longer fighting the moment. There is peace and serenity from within. And if people like Jesse James Hollywood and Brandon McInereney, and all those who find themselves in their own unbearable prisons of hell, can learn to accept their present moment, and to thrive through it, they will begin to transform not only their own negative conditions, but, through helping to raise the collective consciousness, the overall conditions of the universe.

We literally can change the world, one person at a time, right now.

  1. Drew says:

    It looks like jury selection has started. I can’t see Hollywood receiving the Death Penalty simply because he was not present at the scene, but I guess that is in the hands of the judge. You know much about the case, and I have wondered for a while now, has Ryan Hoyt ever expressed any remorse for what he did?

  2. Stolen Boy says:

    I don’t believe any has ever been displayed publicly. But I know he must have felt it inside. One thing you must remember is that Ryan has completely denied his involvement in this murder from the get-go. Although at time of interrogation he admitted to “just shoot the kid,” he denied his involvement later on, saying that he admitted to it just to protect Jesse and his father.

  3. Drew says:

    Thanks for the reply, I do remember reading that. In a way I feel slightly sorry for him, given what I’ve read about his past. He just seemed really confused and troubled. I can’t imagine how horrible San Quentin must be. But yet, nothing justifies murder.

  4. Stolen Boy says:

    Agreed, there is never justification for murder. Which is why I feel terrible this guy is on Death Row to begin with. Ryan had never been arrested in his life before this tragedy struck. He’s not the type of person who the death penalty was created for. Ryan actually has many social redeeming values, or he had, before all this went down. He has spirit as did members of his family. I just hate to see them all become victims in all this as well while we push for more destruction designed as punishment through lethal injection. There are other ways. We can build a whole new paradigm for societal and prison purposes that shifts the emphasis toward more compassion, tolerance, and rehabilitation. It’s our only salvation, I’m afraid.

  5. Drew says:

    Although I believe that the Death Penalty should be legal, mainly for people such as Scott Peterson and Richard Ramirez, I agree with with your views for rehabilitation as well, especially since they are still young. I recently had the pleasure of visiting Los Angeles and the surrounding areas for the first time and I could not believe how something so senseless and tragic as Nicholas Markowitz’s murder could happen in a place so beautiful. I do wonder if Jesse James Hollywood will still be sent to San Quentin even if he is senteneced to life, seeing as how that place seems to hold California’s most notorious. You have a great talent for writing, Mr.Mehas, especially about this case. Keep up the good work.

  6. Stolen Boy says:

    I thank you so much for the ration and kindness in your words. I don’t believe our purpose is to decide the ultimate fate of those society seems unredeemable. Life never cheats us. We will be punished by what we do. We punish ourselves everyday, when we act through unciousness. No bad act goes unpunished. And we don’t need the egos of law or society to decide who gets the big injection, who gets life in prison, and who gets to get out of the punitive prison system and face serious maladjustment problems in trying to reincorporate back into society. Ryan Hoyt will definitely face his music, regardless of what we as a society sentence him to. So couldn’t we possibly give him, and even these other people who commit insane acts in the name of egoic unconsciousness the chance to feel some love, some redemption in their lives. It is my belief, with the right paradigm in place, we can help anyone through transformation. We just need to have the system in place. For those who will not tranform voluntarily, life, in its precious ways, will take care of them too. All we need to do is worry about our own transformations, not theirs.

  7. Rick says:

    Unfortunately I look at Jack Hollywood as the original enabler by supplying his son with the drugs he sold and supplying him with cash while he hid in Brazil from the authorities. Jack should be facing a courtroom for his involvement in his son’s criminal activities.

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