How to deal with all the negativity and internal triggers

Yeah, okay, so we have problems in life sometimes, right? Who doesn’t? Whether we’re kids or their parents, stuff happens, and it’s often very unpleasant. And that’s when it hits us. The trigger to our negativity buttons, sending us off, again and again. Whether it’s tapping into that deep depressive state – you know the one I’m talking about – that sinks us into a flood of disquietude. Where we can’t talk to anyone, or we cry, or we lose our sense of consciousness.

Or maybe anger is our preferred mode of dysfunction. Anyone relate to this one? Where the hatred and the anger and all the negative past conditioning sets us off beyond our abilities of self-control and dignity. Sound maybe even vaguely familiar anyone? This is the one that seems to have plagued many of the kids we talk about here at StolenBoy.com. And it afflicts their parents and probably their parents before them, like bad DNA being handed down from one generation to the next. The knee-trigger reactionary pattern where parent flies off the handle because of something a loved one did, and spreads their internal ugliness and unhappiness to their spouse or their children or anyone else who happens to be near, maybe even the dog.

And then the spouse and the child become the victims, or maybe they turn this familial dysfunction against someone else, someone they love very much. And the cycle continues and this pattern of spiritual unconsciousness increases and spreads like house mold onto everything this family touches. Know anyone like this? We’ve seen these patterns of familial dysfunction through our friends and associates and even our own families. We see it dance around us, yet, most of us have really no clue as to the cause or the cure.

THE CURE TO NEGATIVE REACTIONARY PATTERNS

One answer might be to learn a very simple trick on how to deal with negative situations or triggers in life. Basically, there are three things we can do to deal with any negative development, person, or situation that confronts us. They are: 1) to get away from the problem; 2) to transform the situation into a positive one; or, 3) surrender to whatever is, at all times.

Choosing any or either of the above will do it. It will eliminate the negative reactionary pattern that causes pain and suffering for those around us and ourselves, and causes us to do things we often regret later, bad things that destroy lives and families, and we will discuss these in our next three sessions.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Becoming the change we want to see around us

There were so many people with so many beautiful things to say last week at Larry King’s vigil. There were calls for peace and compassion and love. Many people expressed a desire to see tolerance for full civil rights for gays. These, and other cries for social responsibility fell upon many sympathetic ears, and rightfully so.

For me, the key to seeing any kind of true social change begins within each individual. If each one of us concentrates on who we are, and learns what is necessary to expand the divinity within us, we will become the change we wish to see around us. This was the essence of the message I shared with the audience at the end of the vigil. Below, please find a copy of the speech that I gave to those in attendance.

 

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THE SPEECH

I want to thank all of you for coming here tonight. What an incredible night. What an incredible display of affection for Larry King, and deservedly so. And what an incredible opportunity this provides for all of us, right here and right now.

Ventura County Rainbow Alliance Executive Director Jay Smith addresses the media.

I came here tonight wearing a heavy heart flooded with hope and compassion. Why? Because I looked all around, and I saw all of you. And I resigned myself to imagining all the possibilities that stand before us.

I lead a workshop at Bank of Books called Transformational Third Thursdays, and we’ve talked about this case and what an incredible opportunity it provides for all of us. We have an opportunity to change the world, did you realize that? We have the opportunity to change our community. We have an opportunity to change who we are, and where we’re headed. And we can do that right now. And how do we do that? How do we change the world, right now?

 

Oxnard School District Board President Denis O’Leary and the reverand Brian Elster before the march.

By becoming the change that we want to see around us. And we do this by putting all our energies into the one thing we do have control over, the present. By honoring our presence, we begin to tap into life’s divine energies of love, peace, and joy that surround us.

So how is it that we become joy? How do we become love? Again, I ask you to just look around. Begin to recognize all the beauty that surrounds us at all times. Breathe in the joy. Taste the love. Appreciate all that we have right here and right now.

Friends share their love for the fallen King.

Now is our most powerful moment. This is when we have our greatest energies, our greatest strength. Our truest power does not lie in anger and hatred and resentment from the past. Our true strength does not lie with desires for revenge or retribution for past pain inflicted upon us.

Nor does our true power lie in the stresses and anxieties from a future that we have no control over. Our true power does lie, however, in what we do and think and believe right now.

A sad tribute.

One of the world’s greatest spiritual teachers once said that our present consciousness creates our ultimate reality. What did he mean by that? He meant that the energies we generate now, through our thoughts and emotions, our beliefs and desires, create what we will feel and experience in the future. This is individually and collectively.

If you don’t believe me, again, I ask you to look around. We know what hatred can do to our children. We know what intolerance can bring to our community. But have we thought about what love can do to change all of this? Have we considered what a constant diet of joy and peace can bring to our children’s futures?

Friends sharing in word and tear.

And do we want to sit by while another child of fifteen dies in an adult men’s prison for what he did to bring us all together tonight?

I encourage us all to tap into the transformation of consciousness that has filled our planet, right now. Let us together display to the world a community that strives for higher love and higher peace. Let each of us help make our world a better place by filling our every second of every day with love, compassion, joy, and peace.